I recently had a Zoom call from a woman with whom I had worked on church denominational projects years ago. She told me that she read my blog and applauded my frank answers. What interested her were my writings on the naked body and body shame. She confided that she had been ashamed of her body all her life, even to the point of not wanting to look at it. For years she kept her body covered, even during sex with her husband. But in the last several years she had begun working to overcome her body shame and she wanted to talk with me about it. I won’t discuss our conversation here, but it emboldened me to write this article because I don’t think she is unique.

Another acquaintance recently told me about a woman he was dating who insisted that he not look at her during sex. He quickly decided not to pursue this relationship and is now happily married to a woman who enjoys sex.

These recent discussions got me to wonder about the whole issue of having such an aversion to one’s naked body that one kept it covered even during sex or, if naked, don’t look at each other’s naked body. I can’t imagine having sex without being naked and the further stimulation of enjoying each other’s bodies, including looking at them.

sex with clothes on and eyes closed

I think these examples are not unique. While I have addressed body shame in posts on this blog, I have not gone more deeply into its psychological root causes. That’s what this article addresses.

Types of Gymnophobia

The name for aversion to or fear of nudity is gymnophobia, from the Greek gymnos (naked) and phobia (fear). There are different degrees and types of gymnophobia. Some people are afraid of being naked in public, such as communal showers or changing rooms. It’s reported that many boys won’t take showers today after gym class and young men do “the towel dance” in gym locker rooms so that their genitals won’t be seen by other males. It’s been about fifty years since nude showers and nude swimming were required for boys in high school physical education classes in the U.S. and in the YMCA and boys and men have become more modest. Gymnophobia is not only a female thing.

[towel dance]

I told a couple of younger men in my regular yoga studio that I also do men’s naked yoga once a week. They were intrigued by the idea. I invited them to join me some Saturday morning to experience the freedom of movement naked yoga offers, but they didn’t think they could get naked in front of other men. However, one of them told me he tried it at home when he was alone and agreed that it allowed more freedom of movement. But he wasn’t ready to practice it with others.

[naked yoga at home]

As an aside, I would mention that men are also reluctant to practice yoga shirtless where it is accepted. In some yoga studios and gyms, male shirtlessness is not accepted. I noted this, and also commented on gymnophobia in https://frank-answers.com/frank-answers-about-indoor-male-shirtlessness/. I also note that many men want to practice yoga with their socks on. There seems to be a fear of exposing one’s feet. Of course, yoga doesn’t work if you’re not bare-footed.

Some people fear being naked even with their partner, as my friend told me she was. They may even have a more generalized fear of sex. Other people aren’t able to look at their own body in a mirror, as my friend also told me.

Some people are comfortable with their own nakedness, but fear being confronted by the nudity of someone else. This may be the consequence of a sexual trauma, such as child sexual abuse or rape.

scene from Descent (2007)

Causes of Gymnophobia

As there are different types of gymnophobia, so there are different causes of it.

The most difficult cause to overcome is a traumatic experience. Trauma has been defined generally as being overwhelmed by a powerful force that renders the victim powerless. This could be the experience of a natural disaster, a serious health issue, a sexual assault, or bullying by friends or family. Victims experience frequent flashbacks or nightmares in which the past event intrudes on the present. As the Dutch psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk demonstrated in his popular book, The Body Keeps the Score, what happens in or to the body stays in the body.

Unwanted sex in the past can impact enjoyment of sex in the present. Just seeing a naked man could conjure images of abuse or rape and the feelings one had in that experience. It is beyond my competence to comment on how to deal with this assault on the body-mind. Various practices of somatic clinical psychotherapy have developed in recent years that victims can seek out.

Drunk at fraternity party. She could be taken advantage of sexually.

Children and teens may develop aversion to nudity if they are bullied or shamed about their body. Adolescents especially are aware of their changing bodies and are hyper-conscious of their appearance. They compare themselves with their peers and are aware if they are too thin or too heavy or too small or too weak. Today bullying occurs especially on social media to both boys and girls.

teenage girl exams her appearance

Having surgical scars or other physical disfigurements can cause one to want to cover the body (although some men proudly point to their surgical scars). I have a young German friend who practices yoga shirtless even though he wears a colostomy bag and has a surgical scar where the cut was made. (Normally when teaching yoga he wears a fanny pack around his waist to cover the bag.)

I have my own surgical scar from a colectomy to remove part of my colon when I had colon cancer—-plus a little round belly that comes with age and Type II Diabetes.

Religion-influenced aversion of nudity

Fear of nudity can be the result of being raised in a conservative religious or cultural tradition that promotes modesty and eschews nudity. Generally, these religious traditions are telling their adherents not to trust their own bodies. What they are experiencing and desiring needs to be suppressed. The body must be kept covered, especially by women. I have written about nakedness and modesty from a Christian perspective. I think we have misread what the Bible says about modesty and ignored the belief that God creates us as bodies and relates to us bodily in the incarnation of the Word (Christ) and the sacraments of Christ (Baptism and Holy Communion).  See https://frank-answers.com/frank-answers-about-nakedness-and-modesty. God created us nude and was offended when we hid ourselves from God because we discerned that we were naked. Here is Michelangelo’s painting of the Creation of Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

Strategies for Dealing with Gymnophobia

One could, and many do, develop coping mechanisms for dealing with their aversion to nudity. I suggest here strategies for overcoming one’s aversion to the naked body. It can’t be pleasant to live with a fear of nudity. Christians especially believe in the goodness of God’s creation, including the human body. Clothing the body is a consequence of the fall into sin, according to the story in Genesis 3. I’m not suggesting exhibitionism, and I recognize that we live in a clothed society. But we should make an effort to overcome an aversion to nudity in situations where nakedness is appropriate.

Gymnophobia can be treated with psychotherapy, including exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is a type of psychotherapy that involves gradually exposing a person to the thing they fear. Some people, like my friend, have undertaken this on their own. I will offer some examples here. I think the person who wants to become more comfortable with their naked self needs to be sensitized to being naked. Certainly married couples want to be comfortable being naked with each other.

I suggest that once the couple has decided to get married, they have a little ritual of disrobing in front of their intended partner. They could turn the lights down, light candles, and strip simultaneously in front of the other. They might then take a shower together to touch and explore each other’s body. There will be no surprises or aversions on the wedding night. Eventually, in marriage it will be natural for the couple to be naked with each other in using the bathroom, doing some early morning chores like making the bed, and later undressing at night, and, if the mood and opportunity arise, engage in foreplay and intercourse.

Another sensitizing activity could be getting a massage. Here one has the experience of one’s body being touched by another. Once one has established a client-massage therapist relationship, one might ask the therapist to be allowed to be naked on the massage table. Explain that you have had a fear of nudity and are trying to overcome it. The therapist should be a professional who will observe sexual boundaries. One could gradually expose one’s body more and more over the course of massage sessions, for example, lying naked face down but then covering up when one turns over. In the next session one could expose the full body also face up. In the case of being afraid of a naked male body, one could invite the male massage therapist to also disrobe, if he is wiling to do so.

naked massage

A few years ago, a Chicago area religion professor who had read my blog emailed me about his discomfort with being naked in the presence of another as a result of his conservative religious upbringing. He asked if a naked massage would be helpful in this regard and I agreed that it would. But who could he go to? I asked my massage therapist if he had clients who asked for this kind of help in overcoming body shame, and he said he had. There are a lot of shy men. His concern is always to make the client comfortable. He estimated that about 25% of his male clients wear their underwear for a massage as well as being draped, but some clients are more comfortable without draping. Of course, what he does in a private session remains private. Again, gymnophobia is not only a female thing. As far as I know the religion professor made an appointment with my massage therapist and received a naked massage.

Sometimes married couples need to rekindle intimacy and rediscover each other’s body all over again. A guided tantra massage is a way in which couples can learn to pleasure one’s partner’s body. These sessions are often provided in a couples tantra retreat. These retreats, led by experienced facilitators, delve into the ancient tradition of tantra and explore aspects of personal and intimate connections with one’s partner. They will include breathwork, meditation, interactive exercises, and movement. Practices will involve conscious touch and sensual exploration. The retreat will also include time for personal journaling, group sharing, and quiet time. There is no rush to orgasm. Orgasm may happen, but the main object of the retreat is to increase intimacy between couples. Couples should do their research and choose a retreat that aligns with their needs and objectives. Christian couples may also need to have intimacy rekindled in a guided tantra massage.

Tantra retreat. Honoring each other’s body before giving each other a Tantra massage.]

Finally, let me share a story about a twenty-four-year-old Christian male who wrote to me about a friendship he had formed with a sixty-four-year-old man in a gym where they both worked out. The young man enjoyed both the workouts and the conversations with the older man, but after the workout the younger man got dressed and went home to shower when the older man went naked into the gym showers. The older man asked why the younger man didn’t shower at the gym. The younger man said he was afraid of getting an erection. The younger man wrote to me that he would enjoy the bonding with the older man but was fearful of the possibility of getting a boner. I asked why he was afraid of a natural physical reaction that every man has if the blood is flowing, sometimes involuntarily, like after a vigorous workout. I suggested that he at least try going into the gym shower once to sensitize himself to the situation.  His might not be the only erection, I said. He wrote back and said that he took my advice and, sure enough, he got an erection, but his older friend complimented him on it. He said that now that he was used to it, he would regularly shower with his friend after workouts.

Is this image pornographic. If might be if the context were sexual. But its biological. This is what can happen to men, especially young men, when they’ve been working out and strip to take a shower. Augustine wrote about getting an erection when his father took him into the public baths when he was sixteen. Describing the incident in his Confessions, Book 3, he called it “the signs of active virility coming to life in me” and this pleased his father with the thought of grandchildren, who then went home and told his mother about her son’s erection. In any event, an unwanted erection will be calmed down with a cold shower.

I congratulate my friend on working to overcome her aversion to nudity and I hope this discussion of gymnophobia will help others with their body shame. Gymnophobia is a deeper issue than I can get into here, and it is beyond my expertise. But I suggest that those who fear nudity read up on this phobia and perhaps seek out a somatic therapist to help them work on it.

Pastor Frank